I am living a lie. I haven't finished half the books posted on sex videos from the 1950smy Instagram.

As I type this, these forlorn works of fiction and non-fiction are strewn across my home, unread, unfinished, and abandoned. It was never a deliberate act of deceit. I just kind of...got bored? (To any authors reading this: I can only apologise.)

Here's what usually happens: In the first flush of excitement after buying a crisp new book, I take a photo of it and post it on my Story. I have every intention of reading it. In fact, I'm usually very excited to get stuck into an all-consuming page-turner. But if I'm not fully engrossed in it, I'll run out of steam midway through. Without really thinking about it, I'll stow away the book and forget about its very existence. In reality, unless a book is un-put-downable, I often put it down.

If you post books on Instagram, are you sentenced to read them?

So, is it dishonest to leave a book by the wayside after whacking a photo of it on my Insta Story alongside the caption "next up" or "now reading"? What about the books that have so much social media hype, you feel left out if you haven't nabbed a copy so you can #galleybrag? In short: If you post books on Instagram, are you sentenced to read them?

The good news is you're not alone. Abandoning books is actually really common. According to data from Perlego — a UK-based non-fiction online library — 21 percent of books aren't read beyond the first chapter, only 43 percent of books are actually finished, and 7 percent of books are read entirely bar the last chapter.

A lot of it boils down to hype. There are some books that have such a buzz around them, you feel compelled to buy them just to feel part of the Cool Book Club. Let's be honest, when you actually curl up with them, they sometimes turn out to be kinda average — or even completely unreadable. I have tried to push through the tedium of books that were universally revered. I have sat with books by my favourite authors and wondered why this particular title just wasn't doing it for me. I have forced myself to complete the arduous task of reading the classics, the ones that are honestly so dry and dull that you find yourself reading the same page four times.

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So, how do you move away from Instagram guilt, and get back into the joy of reading books for pleasure? Here are a few tips to wean yourself off the guilt trip.

Know that we're all judging books by their Instagrammable covers

Don't feel guilty, just remember that your Instagram book habit has a lot to do with online culture. We are living in the age of painstakingly chronicling every single thing we are reading on our Instagram and Twitter. We tweet viral Zeitgeisty New Yorkerstories and we crack out portrait mode for a #bookflatlay photo of the latest hotly tipped bestseller du jour. We get a glimmer of pleasure, a quick dopamine hit, when we feel part of a community — all of us quietly, privately poring over the very same pages in our respective homes.

Many of us are now judging books by their highly Instagrammable covers. Book designers have adapted to make book covers bolder, brighter, more colourful, and with "loud lettering" — in short, more Instagram-worthy.

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Use the 'Rule of 50'

Sticking with a book you're not enjoying can have its merits. Daisy Buchanan, author and host of You're Booked podcast, told me she's just read and loved Ali Smith's How To Be Bothafter abandoning it in 2015. "I'm so, so glad that I tried again," she said. "In my heart, I don't think I've ever given up on a book entirely —and I believe books are very patient and forgiving of their readers!" Buchanan counselled against Instagramming anything before finishing it. "I've done it, I feel guilty about it, I won't do it again!" she said.

"Sometimes reading needs to be challenging, and that's when it gets really rewarding."

"When I interviewed Amor Towles for my podcast You're Booked, he shared advice from the legendary librarian Nancy Pearl." That advice is what U.S. librarian Pearl called the "Rule of 50". In short, if you're under the age of 50, give a book at least 50 pages before ditching it. If you're over 50, subtract your age from 100 and use that number.

Buchanan said that the older she gets, the more inclined she feels to "really go to work as a reader."

"In my thirties, I think I'm developing better reading muscles, and I never regret staying with a book," she said. "I really struggled with the first 200 pages of the 1000+ page Ducks, Newburyport,and only kept going because I hadto read it to comment on the Booker Prize for BBC News." Buchanan said that book ended up being one of the very best books she read in 2019. "It got into my head and broke my heart," she said. "It reminded me that sometimes reading needs to be challenging, and that's when it gets really rewarding."

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Ask yourself why you're Instagramming the book

There's a reason we upload a pic of whatever book is hotly tipped to be the next big thing. It has a lot to do with caring what other people think of us. In a Refinery29 piece, Elizabeth Bennett (no, not that one) posed a question many of us have been pondering for some time: When did reading books become so competitive? Bennett spoke to one woman who had spent much of 2019 documenting the books she'd read on her Instagram stories. "By the end of the year I felt like I wasn’t enjoying my book because I was constantly planning what I had to say, judging myself on how long it was taking me to read it and how many books I’d read throughout the year," the woman said.

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Bennett correctly identifies that "books are cultural currency and a fundamental way to build your personal brand." Be it galleybragging about the advance copies we've been sent or 'gramming our pre-orders when they land on our doormats, there's a sense of one-up-man-ship that feels entirely removed for the joy of reading itself. When was the last time we read a book for reading's sake?

"Much like a designer bag or a velvet sofa," wrote Bennett, "a voracious reading habit has become highly coveted as we try to one-up each other in the game called presenting our very best selves online."

So many books. So little time. Credit: Shutterstock / adistock

Know there's a better book waiting for you

The guilt that comes with walking away from a book you thought you'd enjoy can be all-consuming. Francesca Beauman — host ofFran’s Book Shopand bookseller at Persephone Books — imparted some comforting words of wisdom to me. "Never, ever feel guilty about giving up on a book!" she said. "Life is far, far too short to persevere with a book that you're not adoring.

"Life is far, far too short to persevere with a book that you're not adoring."

"Think of it this way: For every rubbish book where you dutifully keep turning the pages right to the end, there's another, wonderful book — a Jane Austen or a J.K.Rowling or an E.M Forster or a Hillary Mantel — that then you won't have time to read," she said. "One day when you are on your deathbed you will feel like an idiotto have missed out!"

Beauman caveated that it might be worth asking yourself why you're giving up on the book. "If it's because the dialect or the slang is hard work or because you're confused by which character is which, it might be worth sticking with it for an extra couple of chapters or so," she advised. "If it's because it's irritating, or pretentious, or impenetrable, then right here, right now, I give you full permission to toss it aside immediately! Often it's just social pressure that impels you do otherwise; resist!"

Be honest with your followers

Those feelings of guilt that you have that are making you persevere with a bad book because of the 'gram? Yeah, they're taking the joy out of reading for you. Omma from The Candid Book Club told me: "We used to feel guilty leaving a book unfinished and would plough on regardless but realised it was taking the enjoyment out of reading."

"You don’t have to like every book you buy or every book that’s recommended to you," she said. "I think it’s better to cut your losses and move on to something you enjoy to stop reading feeling like a chore! It’s okay to admit you’re not enjoying a book even if it’s getting a lot of hype. We always try to be honest with our followers and keep it candid."

Your Instagram or Twitter followers won't think any less of you if you admit that you ditched a book you posted about. In fact, if they trust your opinion, they might feel inspired to freely admit when they're not loving a hyped book. Honesty is, after all, the best policy.

Stop seeing reading as homework

If you're forcing yourself to read a critically acclaimed book, it can feel like you're back at school again. Natasha Pulley — author of The Lost Future of Pepperharrowwhich comes out March 5 — told me it's easy to feel guilty about not finishing a book. That's because of our cultural ideas around reading.

"We have this idea that reading should be improving and edifying," said Pulley. "If you believe that, it’s hard to resist the nagging voice in your head that says you should read all the books on the Booker shortlist before you buy something you really like; but that’s not what reading is for at all. Reading should make you feel transported. If it doesn’t, move on to a different book. The Booker judges, the Sunday Times Bestseller list, reviewers — none of them can tell you what you’ll like. Only you know that."

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Interestingly, Pulley said she only finishes about one in four books. "I’m not in the least ashamed of that. If I didn’t put down the books I don’t like, reading would become a horrible, homeworky experience that stressed me out far more than it helped me," she said. "Books shouldn’t cause you stress. They shouldn’t take from you. If they do, sling them at a wall, and find one that givesyou something instead."

Accept that not all books are for you

When I arrived at university expecting it to be a joyous expedition into the literary canon, I could not have been more mistaken. That undertaking actually provided an important lesson, however: not all books are for you.

Back then, my reading list was comprised solely of books other people had prescribed for me. 80 percent of those books were not ones that I would have picked up in a bookshop and chosen to read of my own volition. Every single page of those canonical works felt like a chore that I couldn't wait to cross off a to-do list. Ulyssesbored me to tears. Great Expectationsdid not live up to my, err, expectations. War and Peacewas a snooze-fest. If you think me a philistine, go right ahead.

I happen to love Wuthering Heightsand Jane Eyre, but I know for a fact that others really struggle with both of them. Some of my dearest friends love Hanya Yanagihara's A Little Life — they implored me to read it, told me I'd love it — but do you know what? I just couldn't get through it.

Not everyone is going to love Sally Rooney's Normal People or Kiley Reid's Such A Fun Age(I happened to love both). If every single human on the planet loved the exact same books, this world would likely be a very dull place.

In the grand scheme of things, it's worth remembering that Instagram is not real life. What we post doesn't always reflect reality. Do I feel bad when I post a pic of a delicious looking meal that ended up tasting kinda gross? No. Do I guilt-trip myself for not finishing the cocktail that looked cool on my grid, but ended up being unbearably strong? Absolutely not.

Reading books should be no different.

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