July 5,old men having sex video the Summer Swiftmas, is the greatest holiday of them all -- the day we obsessively scrutinize clearly staged Instagrams of Taylor Swift's celebrity-filled Fourth of July weekend-long party. 

When Swift dated Conor Kennedy back in October 2012 after a summer on the Cape, she realized the value of incorporating strolls on the beach into her brand. So she bought a beachside mansion in Rhode Island, just like you would. Soon, looking at models in patriotic swimsuits at Swift's annual bash became a treasured national pastime. 

Oh Tay can you see! 

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First, the paparazzi captured Swift and her celebrity pals frolicking in the ocean on Sunday. Accomplished beach-walker and Swift's current squeeze, Tom Hiddleston, debuted a temporary tattoo of a heart and wore a tank top declaring his love for his girlfriend of three weeks (or T.S. Elliot) because he wouldwear a shirt in the ocean. 

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Naturally, you can purchase a tee of your own paying tribute to the greatest love story of our time on Etsy already. 

Swift later shared an Instagram from the beach day flashing her formerly mythical belly button.

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Top tier besties and fringe squad members like Karlie Kloss, Ruby Rose, Martha Hunt, Uzo Aduba, Rachel Platten, Cara Delevigne, St. Vincent, Blake Lively, Gigi Hadid, Abigail, Brit Maack (that girl whose wedding was in Vogue) and all three Haim sisters were present -- though there appears to be some Este favoritism. 

Harley Gusman, Ruby Rose's girlfriend, and Halston Sage, who co-starred with Cara Delevigne in Paper Crowns,made their squad debuts on this Taycation. 

(Author's note: I know the names of four people and two dogs from the Fourth of July party I attended. )

After Swifties gleaned what they could from the paparazzi shots, T.Swift showed mercy to the Swifties and broke the Instagram embargo. And oh, how the Instagrams started rolling in.

Swift also rocked a heart on her shoulder with Tom's initial -- unless, of course, it stands for Taylor.

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Tay presumably selected her guests' outfits prior to their arrival and arranged them neatly on their beds with a handwritten note about how much fun they would have over the weekend. 

Here, Swift, Cara Delevigne and Gigi Hadid pose in matching swimsuits by Solid & Striped.

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Hailee Steinfeld posted a selfie in a matching suit, but apparently did not attend the bash. What could this mean?

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The festivities included an inflatable waterslide that bearing the name Taymerica. Kloss changed bathing suits after the required photo op, apparently. 

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According to Us Weekly, a source called the party "hopping," which is precisely how Taylor Swift herself would describe a hip and happening get-together. 

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Make Taymerica Tay again.

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Kennedy Raye, whose website describes her as "model, influencer and overall marketing powerhouse" had a great time in Taymerica. She previously hung out with Swift at Coachella, the spring squad holiday. 

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Oh my god, there are so many Instagrams. 

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Seriously just try closing your eyes without seeing Taymerica. You can't.

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Tom Hiddleston even made his Swiftstagram debut! The couple wore coordinated espadrilles. 

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Oh yeah, Ryan Reynolds was there, too.

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Swift allegedly sang Britney Spears' "Baby One More Time."

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Fans are speculating that Ed Sheeran, who is currently on a social media hiatus, joined Swift for the Britney duet. 

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The whole thing was patriotic as f*ck. 

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Although it appears that everyone alive besides Calvin Harris, Katy Perry and you attended the festivities, there were some notable absences. 

Selena Gomez had the nerve to host her own Fourth of July bash in Los Angeles. Some people are excusing this betrayal because Gomez has a concert in Arizona tonight, but if she were a real friend, why wouldn't she plan her year around Taylor's party?

Noted Hiddleswift scholar Spencer Pratt is not convinced. 

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See you next year, Taylor! 

Update, July 5, 6:40 p.m. ET:: 

Oh my god, there's another Instagram.

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