There are videos of a old grandma having sexnot many things I dislike more than being watched. So, you can imagine my fury when I walk through my apartment building, visit my friends in suburbia, or go for a jog only to see dozens upon dozens of Ring video doorbell cameras. It makes all of you look silly, posting up tiny video cops on your doors.

There are plenty of other video doorbells on the market, so it may seem like I'm singling out Ring, the Amazon-owned home security system company. That would be because I am, and for good reason. According to a 2021 report from Business Wire, Ring sold 1.4 million video doorbells in 2020 — that's as many as SkyBell, Nest, Vivint, and Remo+ combined.

I can see why a Ring camera would be appealing. It seems like a smart security idea; you can safely answer the door from anywhere; and it sounds like a great way to keep your packages from being stolen. But the reasons not to buy one are so much more compelling. Let's take a look.

1. You're becoming a bad neighbor

I grew up in rural America and now live in a big city, so I feel confident that my barometer for being a good or bad neighbor is accurate across the nation. If you ever use anything to spy on your neighbors, you are being a bad neighbor. Grow up! Talk to them!

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2. It makes you a narc

The Ring video camera has received a lot of criticism for partnering with cops over the years, and that criticism is pretty well-deserved! According to CNET, "Ring no longer allows police departments to contact its customers to ask for footage pertinent to active investigations." But police can post a "Request for Assistance," which allows users to share information with police. Pretty narc-y!

3. It is… weird

Weird fathers with ownership issues over their daughters have the T-shirts, they have the songs, they have the movies, and now they have a Ring camera. In this TikTok posted by @wykeisha1, a dad speaks through the Ring video camera to his daughter's date, delivering quite possibly the most pathetic intimidation attempt I have ever witnessed. Here's how the conversation went:

"Hello?"

"Hi, how are you doing?"

"I'm good. Who's this?"

"I'm Jared."

"Hello, Jared. This is Pedro. This is Grace's dad."

"Oh. It's good to talk to you."

"Sorry I can't meet you in person because I'm at work. So I get to see your face but you don't get to see mine."

"Alright."

"Where are you guys going?"

"I think we're going to go to the Road House and then maybe a movie."

"OK, which movie are you guys going to go see?"

That's when his daughter peeks her head out from the door and says, "Hello?"

"Hello, my young daughter. Just hold on one minute. What movie are you guys going to go see?"

"Toy Story."

"OK. Roughly what time are you guys going to be coming home?"

"The movie is at 7:00. Probably before 11."

"Oh I heard 10:30. OK, that's good."

"That works for me."

"OK, just make sure you treat her rightly because that's my first daughter."

"You don't have to worry, sir."

What a fun new way to take agency away from your daughter!

4. You are not the only one who can access your footage

The footage from your Ring video camera gets stored in the cloud, an infamously easy-to-hack space. Moreover, according to the Electronic Frontier Foundation, Amazon employees have access to that cloud, too. 

5. They can be used to look inside homes and talk to children

Yep, the Ring video camera is even creepier than you ever thought! Ring is currently being sued after, time and time again, strangers gained access to Ring cameras and "used them to traumatize children and harass families," according to the EFF.

6. You're spying on people you don't even mean to spy on

Ring cameras can record audio from 20 feet away, leading Sen. Ed Markey to investigatethe "harmful surveillance practices" and "invasive data collection" of the Ring video camera.

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7. They might not even prevent crime. Simply get a dog

Research has shownthat surveillance of any form — including a Ring video camera — doesn't necessarily prevent crime. You know what does have research-backed proof of preventing crime? Dogs.

8. It could make you more paranoid

Ring doorbells send you an alert when the motion activation is triggered, meaning every time something moves in your front door — like, say, a cat — you'll get notified. That constant nudge that "someone is here" is bound to make you a bit more paranoid.

9. You'll never be able to forget terrible moments like this

There are many moments in our lives that we would rather forget forever, and, often, we can. But not if there's a Ring camera around.

• What Google Clips means for privacy and constant surveillance
• Clearview AI, the creepy facial recognition company, is reportedly developing a surveillance camera
• Facial recognition cameras to be rolled out in London amid privacy concerns
• Surveillance cam captures deer jumping through restaurant's window

10. Third-party trackers

An EFF studyfound that "the Ring app for Android sends personalized and identifiable data to third-party trackers." The trackers do analytics for Ring, and also get a bunch of your personal info, which allows them to "spy on a user’s digital life."

11. Internet access quality

Ring video cameras use WiFi, meaning they're going to take up a solid amount of bandwidth in your home WiFi system. You could be slowing down everything else by speeding up your surveillance.

12. People can just… steal your camera

A lot of people get Ring video cameras to stop people from stealing their packages (even though there isn't much evidence backing that up). Plus, if someone is willing to steal your packages, they could also simply steal your camera.

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13. It amplifies discrimination

Research from VICEshowed that on the Neighbors app, the app that works with your Ring video camera, "petty crimes are policed heavily, and racism is common. Video posts on Neighbors disproportionately depict people of color, and descriptions often use racist language or make racist assumptions about the people shown."

14. You could be helping Amazon create neighborhood "watch lists" based on AI and facial recognition

It doesn't get much worse than this! According to documents reviewed by The Intercept, the Ring camera has plans to use facial recognition software in combination with their home security cameras to create an AI-enabled neighborhood watch list.